Inane Verncaular Vol. IX

When funny things happen on AIM, who ya gunna call? Z-S-N!! When there’s something funny, in yo neigh-bor-hood, who ya gunna call? Z-S-N!! Here are some funny chat logs and other things that people pretend not to find funny but read anyway!

HP: and some have opted to stay at a hotel on Saturday night
Danny: how much is a room?
HP: i wasn’t sure if you wanted in on this, it’s $150-ish?
HP: But Travis got a room and they are splitting it a few ways.
Danny: so they are
HP: if you wanted in, you could check with him, get yourself a better spot than my living room floor.
Danny: i was planning on sleeping wherever I dropped.
Danny: but on topic, unsure bout room. last time I went in on one it didnt turn out so well
HP: did you get molested?
Danny: no
HP:
Danny: but one kid swung he penis around jumping on the bed singing the Pinky and the Brain theme.
HP: ok, that is one step away from molested
Danny: and then he squeezed his testicles off to the side and formed it to look like a brain
HP: ah the Brain. A good one. Was his penis Pinky?
Danny: dunno
HP: should have asked.
Danny: just kept swinging it
Danny: the pizza hut delivery girl wasn’t thrilled about it
HP: too bad, if I understand correctly, that is almost how a gangbang porn could start.
Danny: i think so.
HP: i’m like 99% certain that is not a probability this year.
HP: never know with Chad though, he’s repressed.
Danny: ok i googled gangbang pizza and there is apparently a series called Big Sausage Pizza
Danny: so there you go. Good call on that one.
HP: And knowing is half the battle and I wish I was never drafted.

SteveO: chris, weekend, dudes night out, not being gay
SteveO: thats what it should say
Chris: you’re hanging with a buncha guys. you’re gay!
SteveO: your gay
Chris: you’re gay
SteveO: no your gay
Chris: you are the one who is gay.
SteveO: no you are the one being referred to as gay my friend
Chris: No no no, you are mistaken. You are the one who enjoys putting phalluses into his colon.
SteveO: on the contrary i leave the testicle manicuring up to you
Chris: oh, well, that is awfully kind of you, but I think I’ll leave your to your #1 source of protein, man semen.
SteveO: the appreciation is all on this side of the conversation my dear christopher but sleeping on your stomach next to thomas is not my cup of tea
Chris: you don’t know what your missing, but fine.
Chris: that reminds me, breakfast time.
SteveO: gros
SteveO: s
SteveO: s
Chris: what, sausage and pancakes?
Chris: nothing gay about that.
SteveO: except when you make a sandwich out of them
Chris: or felate them.
SteveO: hahaha

Travis: my phone wont shut off?
Poops: Nope. Is broke
Travis: There it goes, sucka.
Poops: Is fixed?
Travis: Clearly the battery was really dead ‘cause it won’t turn back on. It just went into cardiac arrest. Won’t turn back on
Poops: it needs to REST!
Travis: Ok, so clearly it didn’t shut off!
Travis: THERE IS A GHOST IN MY PHONE!
Poops: no?
Travis: the screen is black
Poops: what are you doing?!
Travis: it won’t turn on or off
Poops: Pull the battery!
Travis: but it just beeped like the battery was dead!
Poops: Get a nun!
Travis: Nuns! I have them! Across the street!
Poops: Get some! Like 3
Poops: 3 nuns = 1 priest
Travis: but I have a priest too!
Poops: Oh, just do that then.