Walter B. Raggy Chronicles the 419 Scandal

I have been sitting on this post since 2006. I don’t know why.

Walter Raggy’s story begins in a far simpler time. I was senior in college, looking with bright eyes towards the imminent acquisition of my degree. The thought of graduating from college brought little butterflies to my stomach and then I began vomiting all the time because bugs are really gross. Oh, how simple I was back then! Little did I know the Hell that stood before me – Job hunting, dealing with realtors, anything that had to do with my ex-girlfriend. However, my innocent naivety is neither here nor there, as it was on February 27th that I received this email correspondence from a kindly Nigerian man.

From: “MR DONALD PETERS”
To: “Walter B. Raggy”
Subject: Dear Friend(URGENT)

Dear Friend,

I know this email will come to you in an odd manner as you have not received any prior communication from me before now. But be that as it may, my name is Mr. Donald Peters and I was privileged to be the account officer of my deceased client who lost his life sometime ago. In the process of review of the financial report by my bank,I discovered that both of you have a similar last name, hence I contacted you so that I can give you further briefing on my intention and how to disburse the estate he left behind.

I will most acknowledge your prompt response as that would enable us to start something immediately.

Sincerely,
Donald Peters.

My young and still exuberant eyes widened upon reading this email. Could it be? One of God’s Creatures was asking me for help? How could I say no? I couldn’t, that’s how! I drafted an email to Mr. Donald Peters that would affirm his faith in Mankind.

Just to warn you all, these emails went back and forth for months. This is going to get kinda long and I am not sorry.

From: “Walter B. Raggy”
To: MR DONALD PETERS
Subject: Re: Dear Friend(URGENT)

Please Mr. Peters, Do Tell Me More! I am Sorry to Hear About Your Client!

-Walter Raggy

From: MR DONALD PETERS
To: Walter B. Raggy
Subject: Further Details

Dear Walter,

Compliments! First of all, I have to acknowledge your willingness to get back to me with further info.

I work for Orient International Bank PLC.Here in Nigeria West Africa, The name of my Client was late Mr.Jeffrey Raggy. He died in the year 2002 from Cardiac Arrest and left some amount of money with my bank. After making the necessary account balancing, I discovered that he left a total of five million united states dollars with my bank (US$5,000.000.00) and without any registered next of kin. It is now very obvious that he died intestate as I have already made further inquiry to ascertain this. And this is where and why I contacted you as the money is now marked unclaimed with my bank. If nothing happens and nobody comes up for the funds,the bank will reclaim it as that is the bank’s policy with such unfilled funds. I now solicit your sincere cooperation so that we can work together to get the funds out of the bank before it goes back to the bank.

I would want us to have a fifty fifty share of the funds as soon as it is cleared from the bank.Do not worry on how to do this as I am here to give you the best advise on how to make it. If this is OK by you, kindly let me have the following information,

i, YOUR COMPLETE NAMES
ii, MAILING ADDRESS
iii, TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS( if any)

I would be looking forward to get your usual prompt response. You can call me at 0112341 477 9332 for us to talk more

Sincerely, Donald Peters
+ 2341 477 9332 No 334 Breadfruit Street
Victoria Island Lagos Nigeria

Boy, I’d sure love 5 thousandy and no cents US dollars ($5,000.000.00!) As you can see on the next page, Don and Walter grew to be the bestest of friends.