Why I Hate 2007
After discussing, rather in depth, what Tom and I liked and disliked about 2006, I'd like to fill all of you in on why I hate 2007. I want you to read that number out loud: "Two thousand and seven." I feel like I have a mouth full of sand when I say it.
Forget that whole sand munching for a minute. Just the whole structure of 2007 is off. It's bland, boring, wooden boarding. It lacks the sexy, sultry, dark "six" sound that 2006 had. It's missing 2008's rolly polly, happy go lucky "eight" that reminds us of the ever-lovable Buddha. Hell, it's even missing the simple, repetitive fun of 1999. Just say that with me: "Nineteen ninety nine. Nineteen nine nine nine nine nine." Fun to say.
So what does the white rice of years have in store of ZSN? Who the hell knows? I'm only updating right now because I'm bored at work and up in funny, hard to read letters on the header, it says that this website is updated every Wednesday. Which is a lie, I guess. Next week's update should have more substance then me just complaining about the number 2,007.
24 Comments to "Why I Hate 2007"
-
Tom: I’m falling behind on doing these updates.
Chris: like a legless cripple in a jogging competition.
Chris: and uphill jogging competition
Chris: and you’re obese.
Chris: and into bestiality.
Chris: and surrounded by dogs
Chris: and covered in peanut butter.
Chris: also, you’re allergic to peanuts.
Tom: …..
Chris: and a masochist.
Tom: You’re really very bored there, aren’t you? -
Fuck you guys. Reading this site is the only thing that keeps me sane. But this post was pathetic.
Now I’m off to go swallow a box of razorblades right before I attempt extreme kayaking on I-95.
Fuck you and your “updates”.
-
Mike, don’t kill yourself yet! Wait until you’re disappointed by next week’s update before you kill yourself!
The best email I got all day:
“I just got a call from a client who wants to sue Microsoft because his computer has been poisoning him and raping him in his sleep!!! He said it is a conspiracy…Oh my God; we get a whole lot of crazy here.” -
Well, New Years Eve went really well. I don’t remember the last hr or so of it. Neither does Chris. He says he remembers some things, but me? Nothing. I think I know what caused my lack of memory- The Mexicans.
You see, I had a well balanced liquorish meal of all the races- Russian vodka, Irish whiskey, English wine, Belgian Beer, and Scotish Gin. Everytihng was just peachy, until the Mexicans showed up. You see, Tequila is a racist, selfish prick. Once he got in my stomach, he started a riot against Russians. Obviously, the Irish joined, followed closely by the Scotts. The English stayed to themselves, playing chess with the Belgians. That’s whent things got fuzzy. After the first 3 cups of Beruit, I don’t remember a thing. I did wake up in my own bed, and remembered to take my shoes off. I woke up with no hangover whatsoever, and felt absolutely wonderful. I am certain it is because I kicked everyone out of my stomach and into the toilet where they belong for starting a fight in mine own innards.
So, having no memory, I called Chris, who informed me of me falling in the kitchen while everyone laughed. Then, he told me he himself also fell, Kyle and John fell also. Apparently Kyle pulled his pants down again outside. Thankfully I do not remember this, and Kyle was releived there are no pictures.
I stole a Mayor Mollis sign, and used it to beat Kyle while John lay motionless on the couch. I fought Mike nearly to death with a Steak knife shortly after the ball dropped while Kyle watched in disgust.
We had a Nacho pyramid built with cheese so high, and it coated our bellies with it’s crunchy cheezy goodness.
I hope to make a slide show recounting the events, and in the pictures I have no memory, you can bet I will have a hilarious take on what I think did happen and how it happened.
Overall, I give New Years Eve an A-. We took in the New Year with only 4 of us, but more joined as time went on. Jesus and Buddha fought, while every religion was right in their own way.
I take a step back now, and say a good year to all of you! Except Amber. Because… well because we all agreed on it.
-
Yeah, I know I posted it twice. So what?! It’s worth reposting.
Now, I must be off to highway ski behind Mike. Catch ya later mother f*ckers!
-
007- This is the year of Bond. I don’t care what you say, its a good year to me. Doubble ohhh Seven. Come on now admit it… Its sexy.
-
At least I didn’t strip down to a pair of boots and an overcoat, then go streaking around the house 2 times, like last year. It was snowing out…So very cold.
-
Dan, you tale is too freakin’ long! Long things scare people… like snakes. Snakes on my website!
Travis, don’t give me that Bond shit! “Double-oh seven” might sound cool, but two “Double-oh seven” sounds like I’m ordering two fish fillet combos from McDonalds. This is the year for fattys!
And Kyle, for my own eye’s sake, I’m glad you didn’t end up naked either. -
What kind of fish do you order? If it was year 2 sevens, I could see, but who says combo 007? Also, 007 reminds me of my old phone number. Good ole 714-0076 was such a nice number.
Lastly, CoD 3 is pretty cool, but it has a terrible online community. You can be different classes- medic, scout, support etc so it’s a nice addition to the genre.
-
Hey Why can’t I have a good year Danny…..
?oh and kyle!!! keep your pants on!
-
Kyle: I wasn’t there, so really, you should have gotten naked, and danced for those that were there.
Danny: Your replies rival the lengths of our posts, so yet again, I have every intention of ignoring most of what you say. I still read enough to know that you spew forth filth, so no worries: your image is intact.
Amber: If Kyle left his pants on, then your dreams would never come true. Which reminds me, my new digital still photography camera has a video taking feature on it. I’m not saying anything specific, just throwing it out there.
-
I would like to note that I locked myself out of my home computer, so not remote accessing from work for me… damn.
Hey our first 2007 post already includes such things as references to Snakes on a Plane, nudity, suggested three-ways, swearing, Mike’s XTr3m3 suicide, rape, and cripple jokes! How ever will we top ourselves?
My favorite new quote of the minute: “At first I thought ‘Haha. Foot Fetish.’ And then I thought about it and the ‘haha’ went away.â€-Meg
-
Using my black magic I can Amber into a crate and have Mike throw it. Also, you can’t have a good years because you have no job.
Also, Cornshoe has converted to Speedbowl unbenounced to him.
-
Say what you will, Daniel-san, but you Speedbowler ain’t never gonna get Cold Mountain!
-
We all know that The Apple and Cornshoe are harbingers of Speedbowl. it’s all one big polytheistic love fest.
Mike… was that an Asian, gold rush internet accent? -
Me no speeky words.
-
Maybe so Mike, but… looks around…
-
-
WE BATTLE FOR MIDDLE EARTH!!!
-
Hey, I was just told to
“slow down cowboy”
-
Danny, as usual, I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. I hate the hours of 6am-8am.
-
You have no idea what you’re talking about. If Mike won’t give up Cold Mountain, then we must battle for Middle Earth. It’s just that simple. Also, I think I may adopt a new philosophy on life-
Life gives you lemons, turn those lemons into crates and smash the crates for coins.
-
COINS FOR CORNSHOE!
-
Tom your youre still a perv
posted under: Check This Out, WTF? | 24 comments