As his stubby yellow fingers tightened his tie, Barry Dom looked in the dirty mirror. His costume was perfect. Red tie, white shirt, name tag with “Shaun” on it… he was going to be a hit. Hopefully. He rubbed the top of his head, brushing away some lint, picked up the flat stick he was [...]

“I’m Not Your Friend, Stay Away” So there’s this woman that comes into the store every now and again. And by now and again, I mean once every week at precisely the same day, hour, and sometimes even minute. I haven’t kept track of the seconds…yet. You know the Cat Lady on The Simpsons? I [...]

In the first episode of Family Guy, we were introduced to an amazing drinking game. The rules were simple: You drink a beer. Your prize for drinking a beer? Another beer! Then you continue to play, ad nauseum. There are some wonderful drinking games in the world. Games based on hand/eye coordination, such as Beirut. [...]

Tuesday, October 9th. 10:00pm. Introduction. I have just come down from the euphoric high that is the fabled three-day weekend. As much as I enjoy having an extra day to sleep past 7am, it always shames me to know that we are celebrating this day in the name of Christopher Columbus. Rather than my typical [...]

There is a time in every man’s life. That’s it, that was the intro paragraph. Now please enjoy some quotes and conversations that have amused me so. HP: i wanna play video games but i lost the living room Tom: aw HP: it’s tragic. HP: very. Tom: it sounds it HP: like when the nazis [...]