Hello! You have apparently hurt yourself or done something stupid that has required surgical attention. You are now in stitches over internet comedy website and surgery! How do you handle that your guts may squirm out of your stitch holes at any moment? You take your Percocet!

This Halloween season we grabbed our machetes and set back out to blaze a few trails through the dank, dark forest that is drinking! From within the mighty booze brush we brought back to you a series of spooky shots, full of eerie ethanol, Satanic spirits, and haunted hooch ! Some of our drinks (like many of our metaphors) are bad and confusing. However! This year we might just have found a few to titillate and terrify you at your next Halloween party! Just take a ghastly gander within this post to witness your very doom!!! And also YouTube videos!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!

As you are well aware, I am an expert on cultural phenomena. Therefore, this week, we talk about Bros. You may think you know some bros, and you may be right. They are everywhere in society these days. But, do you know the phenomena that is Bro? Well, I’m here to offer some helpful tips, to make your bro-dealings that much easier and more satisfying.

Everyone needs a cause to believe in. Something to fight for. Some people shout for equal rights regardless of sexual preference. Some raise their fists for AIDS awareness. Other petition ad nauseum to convince people to start calling fish “sea kittens.” (Serious about that one.) I have never had a cause. Sure I complain about [...]

I know you’ve seen HP and I nearly kill ourselves multiple times with liquor, but did you know we’re also connoisseurs? In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here’s a guide to doing what we do when we’re not doing what you see. TOM BARS – Bars are fun places. You could meet some interesting people, [...]

On Friday, March 6th, 2009, the most anticipated comic book movie will be released – Watchmen. The movie is based upon one of the most beloved and hyped graphic novels in the history of comic books. Originally released in 1986, Watchmen has attracted a fair number of fans, especially in recent years as news of [...]

Please, please, step back into the office of Dr. Love, Autoerotic Haberdasher. So, have any of my other suggestions worked for you? Hm, I see, I see. Well, since you’re such a loyal patient of mine, I would hate to see things not work out for you. Well, hey, I have three places left for [...]

Huh? Oh, hello there. Welcome back to my office, the office of Dr. Love, Relationship Cartographer. I’ll give you a moment to review last sessions’s notes before we move on with the next set of places to look for a date. It’s okay, take your time. Okay…ready to move on? Excellent. Here we go! The [...]

Tom and I lifted our glasses high into the air and let out a mighty belch. Within the gases of this belch lay dormant the taste of Round 2. A faint sense of whiskey danced on our tongue, while the vile taste of salsa tugged at our gag reflexes. We sipped from our glasses of [...]

Ladies and gentleman, before we begin please direct your eyes this way. You maybe remember that over a year ago Tom and I ventured into the a dark forbidden realm. Fueled by our mutual hatred for Chelsea, ex-girlfriend fiascoes, and alcoholism we set out to punish ourselves with some of the shittiest drinks we could [...]