More sexual harassment!!! So…is that a cross she’s wearing there? Because if it is, this statement is hilarious. That’s just ugly jewelry, Tom, there is no cross there. NO SHE DIN’NT!

So, we here at work have to complete some sort of harassment training exercise online. I think Nate did one of those, didn’t you? Weren’t some of the questions ridiculous? Yup they were hilarious. Holy Shit there’s sound on this thing. Oh, now I can’t wait.

Happy New Years Eve! Unless, of course, you are reading this post after December 31st, in which I guess just a plain old “hi” will suffice. This year of our Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ, 2008, has come to an end. It is always a wonderful idea to sit and reflect about the past [...]

Prologue One of my primary functions at my job is to file files away in a series of filing cabinets. Throughout the fiscal year, many of the files need to be moved from one filing cabinet to another filing cabinet. As you can imagine, the process of moving file folders full of files from one [...]

Mike vs. Dog Lady, Tourette’s Guy, and Smelly-Looking Man I will talk now about three distinct customers. I’ve never had to deal with them at once, but there wasn’t enough material for each of them for a single tale. Plus, all of them are clearly ill in some way, mentally or otherwise, so I’d feel [...]

Ah, dear friends, welcome back to the offices of Dr. Love, Sexpert Extraordinaire! Please, come in, come in, take a seat. You say that you want to follow all my wonderful advice, but that you can’t seem to find anybody to follow it with? Hm, well, that will just not do. Let’s see if I [...]

I have been know to partake in hyperbole. One might say that I quite often find myself plucking the juicy fruits from the tree of exaggeration and sampling it’s succulent nectar. Due to my hyperbolic tendencies people on occasion shrug of what I say as if I am always joking. “Oh that incorrigible HP, he [...]

You look pretty bored. Why don’t you come over here, sit down, let’s “rap.” On average I spend 40+ hours sitting on my ever-growing ass in a cubicle at work. If your job is like mine, you have five hours of work a week stretched out over a five day period. Sure, there are some [...]

Unless you’re a filthy vagabond or the Vice President of the United States, you probably have a job, have had a job, or will be getting a job. This means that you (even if you’re the VP of US) will be stuck going to meetings. Maybe you’ll be lucky, and your job will be awesome [...]

A few weeks ago I convinced you to quit your pedestrian, boring job. Now that you’ve had some time off you might have noticed that 24 hour jerk-off marathons are only fun the first or second time you do them. You might also have noticed that you had to dip into your savings when you [...]