If you’re still alive after Halloween, and you’re coming out of your sugar-induced coma, you may be planning to have nothing to do with parties until next Halloween. But it’s the holidays, and parties are inevitable. The newest installment of the Big City guides will help you deal with them.

Hello dear friend, how are you on the fine Wednesday? It’s been, what, a year since you first moved into the Big Cityâ„¢? It’s been a busy year, too, between the beaches, concerts, camping, drinking and holidays.  I’m proud of you for still being alive and functioning, and not just being in some sort of [...]

I know you’ve seen HP and I nearly kill ourselves multiple times with liquor, but did you know we’re also connoisseurs? In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here’s a guide to doing what we do when we’re not doing what you see. TOM BARS – Bars are fun places. You could meet some interesting people, [...]

Hello everyone, and Happy December! I see you’ve begun your Christmas shopping already. Oh, wait…you haven’t? Well then, you may want to check out this post from last year. Go on, I’ll wait for you here with this clearly happy puppy. All set? Awesome. Well, welcome back, and might I just say…oh, you have to [...]

Why hello again. How are you doing? What? Oh, come on, don’t give me that look. I don’t see what your problem is, since thanks to me you found an apartment, checked out various sites in the city, went to a sports game, went swimming, and even saw Major Rock Bandâ„¢ in concert! You and [...]

Hello again, my friend. I see your sunburn is peeling nicely, that’s cool. Plenty of aloe for that, right? Good, good. So, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but it looks like Major Rock Bandâ„¢ is on tour, and they’re coming to the Big City Corporate-Named Stadiumâ„¢! And on top of that, Controversial Hip-Hop Artistâ„¢ [...]

Ah, hello my friend. It is a beautiful summer here in the Big Cityâ„¢, isn’t it? It’s just the sort of thing that makes one happy to be alive, and preferably outdoors. Yes, you could go to another sporting event, but wouldn’t you rather go soak in the sun while, say, floating in the water? [...]

Well, my dear friend(s), I see that you have done well since we last spoke. That’s good to see, it makes me happy that you have taken my advice to heart. The Big Cityâ„¢ can be a fantastic place to wile away the best years of your life, while making just enough to afford a [...]

So, you’re all moved in now? That’s good to hear. Furniture on fire yet? No? Good, good. How’s the cat? …Oh, really? Well, on the bright side, fur’s great to stick underneath a door to block out the cold, no question about that. Ah, you want to go out and see the sites that the [...]

As many of you know, I studied various subjects of interest in college, and have since continued to study various interesting human subjects since then. After a year of living in a moderately sized city, it has come to my attention that I have a PhD in Cityology, meaning that I am fully qualified to [...]