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My back is in poor shape. I can barely bend over. Naturally, I am going spelunking.

Haikus are not hard. You know something that is hard? It is my penis.

I haven’t filed anything for 7 months. I thought this might be a problem. Thank god for temps.

I’m going to a BBQ today to see Steavo off to the Army. I don’t want to get burned again. I won’t get burned again.

Congratulations Colby-Sawyer Class of 2008! You guys are graduating today! Good job, sweetheart!

Iron Man tonight. If only my erection could be iron. Robert Downey Jr. would fly around in my pants.

Instead of being at work, I would rather: be at home because it is Saturday!

Are you available for dinner? AFFIRMATIVE. Taco Bell?