The HP Blog

I’m going to start a li’l drinking game. For every resume I send out I am going to take a shot. This is going to be so much fun.

Oreos are good, but better when you stack them.

I’m just going to update this thing as often as I like.

Star Wars: Force Unleashes is OFF THE HOOK (leash).

It is confirmed that we have mice that can lick peanut butter off of an armed mousetrap without setting it off.

This discovery is both fascinating and terrifying.

How come you can sip from a glass of wine in a bubble filled bathtub and it’s a classy move, but when I drink a bottle of wine in the shower everyone is up in arms?

i just came to blog about how sometimes i am really glad food exists.

My back is in poor shape.

I can barely bend over.

Naturally, I am going spelunking.

I went to the chiropractor today.

He is an old Jewish man.

He took X-rays of my soul.

My back really hurts.

I cannot bend over.

This is not cool.

I was filing, which is something I do every 6 months (maybe).

I found a tick crawling on my button down shirt.

I don’t think this computes.

Today I am back in the office.

Normally I can’t stand work.

However, it is hot.

I took the day out of work today.

I got to have lunch with my cousin from Seattle.

It was hot.

We had a small family reunion today.

We even managed to get my cousin to come in from LA.

It was hot.

Haikus are not hard.

You know something that is?

It is my penis.

Today I get to sit through another graduation ceromony.

Only this time it’s for 500 people I don’t care about at all.

So fun.

Gin and juice is one of my favorite treats.

I prefer cranberry juice.

Cranberry juice light is awful.

Today was Killdozer day.

I just learned about it.

It is amazing.

I hate days that feel like a complete waste.

I have so much I want to do.

But my tummy hurts.

I’m not a big fan of June.

I have nothing against it personally.

I just hate that it has a ‘J’ like “July.”

I haven’t filed anything for 7 months.

I thought this might be a problem.

Thank god for temps.

I want a new job, but I’m not qualified for most of them.

There’s an opening at the Harvard Hiphop archive?!

Better get my resume ready.

It seems that at 6pm last night two trains on the D line crashed into one another.

Lately the green line has been a magnet for fire, crashes, and explosions.

This bodes well for my commute.

I went to the back porch to play with fire.

He saw the sparks and asked me if I had locked myself out.

I told him I didn’t not, so he left, locking the door behind him.

It is almost black outside because of the thunderheads.

Why wasn’t it dark out an hour ago when I went on a walk during break?

Instead the sun was beating down on me like a fucking black retard at a Texas jail yard hoedown.

Looks like I forgot to update for the weekend.

Looks like no one cares.

Looks like Naria wasn’t bad.

A lesbian wedding party is not as sexy as it sounds.

There is pretty much no nudity.

But, there is a lot of cake.

I’m all collecting letters for scholarships address to Mr. HP like I know what I’m doing.

If only they knew.

I know nothing.

I already got my gov. money.

I put it in my savings account.

Because I have no soul.

I can’t tell if I am busy or not at work lately.

I’ve got a lot of work to do.

Yet I still have time to post this.

I don’t know if I really like the Green Lantern.

He keeps doing all this crazy space shit.

I much prefer Batman.